Graham's Blog

Various excitements last night at the family house...

Cameron was looking out for me when I arrived in my exciting Ford Focus. He rushed out and gave me a hug: “I missing you”. We didn’t have time for a ‘car adventure’ but I got to bath him and wash his hair. I seem to have the right technique or something as Cam only likes me to wash his hair. Thomas the Tank Engine and Mr Men stories for our collective erudition. Priceless cuddles.

Erin has been voted onto the school council by a landslide! Quiet and efficient, she’ll do a good job for her form and shows a vote of confidence by her peers. It’s great to see that she is starting to settle a little at Big School, though she misses SHJ very much. It’s a rite of passage.

Had to take apart Connor’s motherboard deceased PC by removing and demolishing the DVD drive to extract the copy of M$ Office within so that it could be loaded on Erin’s PC.  Well worth it as she was delighted to have the software available to her again. It’ll get a lot of use.

Connor returned triumphant having acquired a new PS3 at an amazingly low price! Safe to say he was absolutely delighted. I helped him setup the WiFi and he was off browsing the Internet on the television, pulling down YouTube videos and playing skateboard games. I’m hoping the unit will make a regular appearance at the cottage!

Sal is delighted with the results of her A3 scanner that she snaffled on eBay. With Dave sourcing a PCMCIA SCSI card we have it all up and running. The scan quality is very good indeed and should help her business no end. I brought down the portable HDD so that her valuable work could be backed up. The next job is to show Sal how to manage her website and upload more pictures.

Funny old evening. It was almost my last obvious opportunity to be in the family house, as I get the keys to the cottage tomorrow and will then have my own base. I return tonight to baby sit and take Erin and friends to Guides.

My own excitement is discovering ’30 Seconds to Mars’ thanks to Connor depositing it on my Zen MP3 player. Is this a good thing? They create a powerfully rich rocky sound with good narrative and beautifully played. I can’t be sure if I am just unleashing my inner Emo, but then I have recently discovered teenage angst for the first time, so perhaps it is fitting? Anyway, I like it.

Dave is lighting Ed’s production of ‘La Bohem’ at the Drama Studio this week. We have concurred that opera appears to be overblown emotion and great orchestra about the mundane. As such we started to sing ‘mock opera’ about my incapacity to have a cheese sandwich. Or any pickle to go with it. What uncultured swine we are.

Another early work start this morning thanks to beginning the day at Dave's house. I'll be travelling into Leeds later today for a few meetings.

Tonight may have to be an Ikea trip planning and Furnace 'sort out' evening rather than doing anything fun. I could do with some fun...

It was more of a doze in really, but the fact that I didn't get out of bed until 07:20 this morning is probably a good sign.

I don't think it was encouraged by a need to stay warm. The temperature in Sheffield is still reasonably high and though the heating hasn't been put on here yet there probably isn't much need for it. There's a general sense that the base temperature is dropping slightly, but essentially it is warm enough. My room tends to have the PC on much of the time that  I am in, so the fan chucks out some heat in what is probably the warmest room in the house anyway. Dave's books, which are shelved along the biggest outside facing wall, provide a fantastic insulating layer!

It strikes me that I won't be at Dave's haven for very much longer. Most of the bedding for the cottage is now sorted thanks to an extra few clicks to Sal's Asda order. The fact that the current tenant has generously donated her sofa and king size mattress and bedding has made everything much easier on move day. I have the Ikea trip with Erin on Sunday morning to hoover up a whole host of loose ends. I could really do with getting a range of basics including: pans, tin opener, oven gloves (look you never know), tea towel, washing up bowl, drainer, oven tray, nice lighting, iron, ironing board, chest of drawers. Being a boy I have sorted out television and broadband already, though the television is there largely to ensure my children will consider visiting me.

Actually, I say that about the television, but you never know. My life may be more solitary, at least for a while, or at least marked with times of solitude. Mondays, Wednesdays, and alternate Friday nights and weekends will be my own. Yawning gaps of time that I am used to sharing with someone. Perhaps I will get a liking for television? Eek I hope not! Also determined not to waste that time browsing the Internet either. A car, some boots and a rucksack should get me out and about. Bike rides remain a danger.

A great night last night. My old team sent me off with a Millets gift card and a couple of bottles of wine. Speeches, drinks (too many) and a lovely meal with colleagues. It was a great night out with me a little tipsy. I slept on the last chugger train from Leeds to Sheffield vaguely stirring and seeing Wombwell station before dozing until the Don Valley and Meadowhall. Exiting the station I mingled with Leadmill revellers and took my familiar walk along Shoreham Street to Dave's house, returning at 00:45.

Remarkably spritely this morning, I seem now to have got the hang of sleeping again. No surprise really as my mood has completely lifted and the veil has gone from my eyes. Sleep was just waiting round the corner and has politely ambled back. Nice of it to join me again. The future also feels clear to me now. Months of thinking and considerable uncertainty are all of a sudden behind me, which is a blessed relief. Everything is linked and became unknotted together. Dave is seriously worried about my levity and good humour!

The Millets card could be useful as I fancy getting kitted up for some walking and camping, if not this year then next. A walking holiday may be a financial stretch just now but it really appeals once more.

Sent an email out to the gaming group. My appetite for gaming has returned and I am keen to participate in a weekly night session after the Furnace convention. I hope Wednesday nights are doable for the gang as my new regime means I am with the kids Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I've even offered to run some games, including my own Wordplay.

In summary, I feel thoroughly back to where I should be and can now stride forward and grasp happiness. Well, at least I look to be in better shape to have a go!

Look out.

For lots of reasons it was a good one. Great to spend some time with the kids, with me in charge for the full weekend. Connor is mostly in another time zone so had only the briefest of contacts, but it was great to catch up with the big fella. Erin and I chatted and ate together and swapped ideas for an Ikea trip maybe next weekend sometime. It looks like the two of us will have a lot of fun!

Cameron took most of my time with a trip to Weston Park Museum on Saturday and to the Fire Museum today. Snuggles, chatting, playing, bathing, exploring, car riding, story times. Altogether therapeutic.

The Cottage project continues to take shape. Microwaves and other trivia purchased and bedding for myself and the kids is being organised. In the end I just need to make sure the place is comfortable enough for the kids as, crazily, I am having them all to stay on my move in weekend! What am I thinking?! The two older ones are looking forward to sorting me out...

I am feeling much better now. Clouds have lifted and I can see things much more clearly, which is a blessed relief to me and doubtless to those who know me. Happy. Things that had been weighing down on me are still there but seem much lighter and comprehensible. I'll be able to move on with my life much sooner than expected, coinciding with the excitement of the move into the little cottage. My day to day reflections are fed via Twitter to my Facebook Page, so immediate, mad, daily thoughts can be found there.

Anyway, a brief uplifting update that sees me with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.

Now off for a stroll with Dave to the Botanical Gardens.

It really isn't that long before I move into the cottage. Real move day is probably Friday 2nd October. The place is there to help me find myself a little and understand how I can live and breathe when separated but in frequent contact with the family. A rota has been devised with alternate weekends and a few evenings a week and split cover for holidays. Still, essentially that means I am on my own which will make a change.

Friends have been most generous with their offers of help and content for my first solo home. Many thanks to all. A microwave was purchased today. Sub £30 Tesco base unit which, if it lives beyond my first pre-packaged vegetable curry, is tremendous value. Also got a discounted mobile phone for about the same amount, so my personal number is back up and running (text me and say hello for those who know it). My next major task is to sort out the bedding. I'll need a double matress for me and one more single matress. I expect a trip to order them from John Lewis. I have an offer of a double duvet but will need to ensure I have enough bedding for all the kids.

PlusNet broadband may appear in there at some point- it's ordered, but no sign of it yet. The old sky dish is live and with a Freesat box I will have digital TV. This ensures the kids will have television and might actually want to come round and see me!

There is so much to do, but have decided that I'll just take it steadily and get the things I need as I discover I need them, rather than planning everything.

Once I am in place I will take some pictures and post a link on a blog posting.

Well it has been an awfully long time since I have posted here. There has been a lot of heartache and sorrow in my life over the past few months and some of that leaked rather messily into this blog. I've mopped most of the mess up now and am putting down a brightly patterned vinyl flooring to make sure it is easy to wash down in the future.

As I enter a new phase in my life I thought I'd start to chart progress here and reflect on events. Profundities may be few and far between, but at least those who care, and keep an eye out over here, will know what is going on. The next excitement is the new cottage which I will be renting from the beginning of October. More posts on that to come.

A recent purchase was a second hand car, a Ford Focus, that will get me form A to B should I need to. Cameron is very excited about this and keeps wanting to go on a 'car adventure', which basically means getting in the car seat and going for a drive and chattering away about what all the road signs say. I have to say it is a delight to be with him as we take a pointless trip to Owler Bar and back.

Any road, please regard this blog as back and open for more reflections as I adjust to my new circumstances.

I have mapped out a new long route, probably too long, that takes me through Ecclesall Woods and up onto Ecclesall Road South and down into town. I end up sitting on a park bench by a stream, where I can collect my thoughts. It's about 6.5km one way with a stonking big hill or two. I've only tried it once and really enjoyed it despite, or even because of, the rain.

I hope to be out on it as often as I can manage over the next few weeks to see if I can improve on my time.  Running all the way and not stopping now and again would probably help that!

This afternoon I drove Erin and Cameron to see auntie Ruth and uncle Ross in Brisol; we're here for the weekend. It's a time for recuperation and enjoyment and it is overdue. Sal and Connor remain at home undertaking a house restructure, day long yoga, and obliterating Nazi zombies. I'll leave you to work out who is doing which.

Sun warmed grass between the toes. Tig and mini Olympics. Hop skip and jump, long jump, running, silly running, throw and catch. Laughter. Ice cool water, mint potatoes and fresh vegetables. Rest and cool clean sheets. Bird song and peace. Loving family.

To have this even at difficult times provides some welcome and much needed perspective.

It has been especially lovely just talking and playing with Erin. She's lovely.

The changes keep coming...

I am now working four days a week! This big decision was made to help provide time to focus on other important parts of my life. It really hasn't sunk in at all. I have dropped all my web development projects as they were swallowing my most valuable asset: time.

Further I have, reluctantly, resigned from the Continuum roleplaying convention committee. It is unlikely that this period of transition that I am going through will have settled during the run up to the convention in August 2010. Forum browsing has also dropped to almost zero, freeing up an amazing amount of time. In future weeks I might even use this time productively?!

I remain physically and emotionally drained. Eating has returned slightly, though I am finding that sleep has been so heavily disrupted that it is proving difficult to switch back to a more stable pattern. Indeed, as I type, my heavy eyes lull me into the opinion that I am bound for sleep. I dare not to dream just now so hope for a regenerating oblivion.

And so 'The Circle' production comes to the end of its run. It has been an excellent and memorable play run. I even remembered my lines. It's all left me quite drained and exhausted.

I will be a bit pre-occupied over the next few weeks, so I may not be so visible in my usual on-line haunts. Doing a bit of a de-clutter and a re-think on a range of issues, which will doubtless challenge my spare time and limited brain capacity.

And so I wave goodbye to Sally and Erin as they jaunt off to Spain for the week. It's just me and the boys at home with my cooking.  I have an itinerary  of Cameron's weekly routine and a full freezer. What could possibly go wrong?

I confess to liking the German Eurovision entry. Did I say that out loud? Oops.

Cameron and I watched his first proper thunder storm from Erin's window last night. He knew about the effect from a Peppa Pig episode and it was a delight to watch him watching the storm. He was both filled with wonder and scared at the same time. Brilliant.

I have pre-ordered The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrún, the world first publication of a previously 'unknown' work by J.R.R. Tolkien, which tells the epic story of the Norse hero, Sigurd, and of his wife, Gudrun, and the fate of the Nibelungs.

It is released into the wild on the 5th May. I expect it will inspire Doom laden roleplaying games for some time.

To balance this neatly, I have also just ordered 'The Tough Guide To Fantasyland' by Diana Wynne Jones, which I am lead to believe leaves no Western Fantasy Trilogy cliché untouched!

I am supposed to be taking Cameron to the park for ice cream and a bicycle ride right now, but on arrival found that he was deeply asleep. He continues to slumber on the sofa.

My netbook and desktop have now been flawlessly upgraded to a Jaunty Jackalope.

They are so pleased with themselves.

I am all stressed today. Annoying - it's the weekend!!

It's all go since I last posted here. While the seductive nature of Twitter keeps me ephemerally alive to the social network, it is all in 3" lengths, so not very useful.

I have been cast in the next SUDS play, Somerset Maugham's brilliant comedy 'The Circle'. Unexpectedly I have been cast as the more youthful Teddie who breezes about in flannels extolling the virtues of Empire, shooting, and Malaya. A straight as a die good natured Englishman, that given my advancing years, I am playing as a sort of Woostery character who over expresses himself slightly with his semi controlled arms and legs. I should get laughs. The key thing for me will remain ensuring that the very beautiful younger actress acting opposite me as my love interest continues to be comfortable and happy about our combined performance. We have acted together before and have good chemistry, so all bodes well.

Conpulsion saw me and Elaine train up to Edinburgh for a weekend of gaming. We had a great time. Elaine captured the event well in her review.

Weekly gaming will recommence for me in mid June. It now looks as though we have a new group on Tuesdays and with a slightly larger pool of people. Our only main problem is going to be choosing what to play as we are all GMs and have huge lists of options. I look forward to it greatly. The May TomCon has me in the GMs chair (probably). As it is a Chinese themed wekend I will be offering Qin: the Warring States. I am glad to get it off the shelf at last.

Hellfrost is currently pushing my old skool Savage buttons.

Easter week was spent with family, with me in charge while Sal went off camping with Kate in Whitby. Everybody was fed and there were no unexpected fatalities, so I take that as a success. With Cameron especially, as he is only three, I find the dedicated time and mumless reliance builds and deepens our relationship. Great.

Wordplay text should be back at the end of this month for a final trot through responding to editors comments and then we are into PDF/book production. Exciting, in a 'I don't quite believe it' kind of way.

I have just bought a Flip HD pocket video camera. The immediate intention is to capture Cameron running through the woods. His exuberance and joy lifts my spirits unfailingly.

Work is entering a new and challenging phase which I will find character forming. I am glad of all the wonderful things mentioned above.

Where is this year disappearing?

Direct tweets are now received via SMS for Vodafone customers in the UK. A nice addition and further evidence that Twitter continues to raise its profile.

Smashing

I feel responsible for provoking a dialogue on peer reviews of gamemasters at rolelaying game conventions. It appears to have struck something of a nerve, so here's my fuller take on it.

First of all I was delighted with a recent review from the respected 'EvilGaz'. As noted elsewhere a 7/10 is a very fine score from such an exacting and knoweldegable GM. More importantly to me EvilGaz was an excellent player in the game and really contributed to the session. I'll score him 8/10. He asked me if I'd like to see my review before he posted it. The implication was that he would have posted it whatever I thought of it, but it was nice of him to ask. In the end I was comfortable that he post it and would have felt a bit weedy saying 'no'. And it was from the Gazmeister and I rate him. So I just told him to post it up. Did his review teach me anything new about my GMing, the scenario, or the session dynamics? No. Did it tell me how much he enjoyed the game? Yes. Inevitably this will often be the way with such reviews. In any case, I reckon 7/10 is a creditable 'pass', which means that I am now Smart Party accredited (Foundation 2nd class). ;-)

I'd have liked a fuller critique on the scenario and the superb character detail in the hands of the players to provoke intra-party conflict, the quality of the flavour text etc. We'll come back to quality of reviews later.

You see, I am just wary of self appointed amateur peer reviews. This holds true even if they come from experienced and competent amateurs with their hearts in the right place. Let me explain why.

One of the other scenes that I haunt is amateur dramatics, an activity that is more traditionally open to a number of types reviews. There is, of course, the response of the audience, informal feedback from acting peers, gushings from loved ones and the expected opening night review of the play in the local press. However, in my city there was, for a time, a further set of reviews that had to be endured. There was a local association that drew together amateur groups, put on occasional big productions, ran a one act play competition and sent their reviewers out to plays to critique and score them for the annual award ceremony. Goals were laudable: to encourage quality and raise standards amongst our amateur groups. Personally I don't feel the association achieved its goals. The reviews, bound by a code of conduct that was routinely ignored, were of variable quality, lacking a standards baseline,often limited in comprehension, and often served as unintended entertainment themselves. They were not, unfortunately, harmless. I had to witness at least one director fall apart at the narrow and spiteful critique. The play didn't deserve what she got.

Your asking people to pay, so you should be open to review and criticism. Agreed. However the association reviews almost never told us anything we could actually use for improvement, and often missed important points that we had already accounted for. In the end we stayed in the association, so that we didn't appear elitist or 'splitters' but allowed directors to opt their plays into the review/competition cycle. Not one did. Other than some smiles when cups were won, I really think the goals could have been worked towards in different ways.

[sidenote] Some Cons ask you to pay for RPG sessions. As long as I live and breathe and have influence on Furnace it will never do this. This is a subject for another post.[/sidenote]

So, there's my history and let's get back to the UK Con RPG scene. If a self appointed group, whoever they are I am not picking out the Smart party here, wish to see improved quality of convention RPG game sessions then that is also entirely laudable. Will short, unstructured, ad-hoc peer reviews of individual sessions make any difference? No. Is there the potential for scarce resource convention GMs to take exception when some peer know-it-all starts critiquing their sessions? Yes. Could some people with thinner skins stop running sessions after a bad review? It could happen. I could go on and I probably have for too long already.

This all comes across as very negative. I am a good GM with a lot of experience and still open to improve and learn. I don't mind having reviewers play in my games. Others might. So, lets end with another look at how we work on quality. Here's a couple of ideas:

1. It would be great to have a place where guidance could be pulled from. One such place that has the potential is the recently created website for the afore mentioned Smart Party. I hope that continues to grow with home grown wisdom also and becomes a source of links, a portal, to other places on the web where there is good guidance on GMing and running sessions. I'd certainly find that more useful than simply one group's view.

2. Opt in. Rather than inflict reviews on unsuspecting grognards, create an association of learning where GMs can opt in to work on their GMing. Peer review members, run seminars at cons, give out badges, bring in the old masters, look beyond Savage ;-).

I'll draw a veil there and think some more about it.

I went to Concrete Cow yesterday and had a really good time. The 05:30 start was not so hot, but I had three to pick up on my way down to Milton Keynes for 09:30 and wanted my porridge first! Hoorah for the Tom Tom, which flawlessly took me from one destination to another. Well apart from the fact that I put the wrong postcode in for the last leg -but no harm was done. So, with Elaine, Evilgaz and timgray  all safely collected, we arrived in good time for start.

It was a convention for putting faces to names. In particular I got to meet Rich Stokes and Pete (IndyPete) and played in Rich's 'Umlaut' game of metal bands. This one is a must have buy later this year when it is released. All the players create a band and then take it in turns to play out a scene of differing types to further the cause of their band, often at the expense of the others. The centre piece of the games are the gigs wheer you play off against another one of the bands to see who can win the most glory (and Hope and Fanbase). Rich has captured the hillarious fractios nature of metal perfectly. I fell in love with my band: Consumption, a Goth Metal band. Albion Crow, the fickle Jessica Morn and Jeffrey Smile (on bass). A titanic duel continued between my band and Ragarokski, Pete's Polish meatl band. Hillarious and lots of fun.

I got to catch up with Angus Abranson and talked games and plans. This could have planted a useful seed that may bear fruit later in the year.

I ran Dom Mooney's 'A Cold Dark Grave', a Traveller scenario for a fantastic group of players including Graham Walmsley, Nathan and the RPG critic Evilgaz, one of the Smart Party illuminati. I used Mongoose Traveller with a few minor tweaks. I thought the game went well with some very strong play, good engagement from the players, and one of my first ever Total party Kills (TPK), so a session to be proud of. It's reinforced Traveller to be an easy game to pick up and play and one I'll be using again. Gaz's review of the game can be found here.

I'd like to have stayed later, but there were limited games available and I had half an eye on the lengthy journey home. We went to the pub across the road where we recieved cheerful service and managed to avoid the fights round the back.

Fond farewells and a smooth journey home in good time topped off an excellent day. Maybe I'll do it again. If I do then I mustn't stay too late if I'm driving.

One thing I have noticed is the increasing likelihood that when you offer and run a game at a convention that you also get 'reviewed' and scored out of ten in the public glare of your gaming peers. Depending on the person reviewing this can be useful and done in a good constructive spirit. I have to admit I rather miss the more innocent amateur days when you just pitch up and play and everyone says  'thanks very much'. No pain no gain I suppose, but you know, really...

Some cherished annual leave saw us take a visit to the Armouries in Leeds. I went in with Cameron, whilst Sal and Erin went into town to meet up with Grandma and do some shopping. Connor almost joined us but simply couldn't get up in time.

It turned out that Cam was quite tired so didn't have the stamina for the three hours I'd been allocated. He enjoyed the arms and armour a great deal as this is his current obsession. Our visit would have been quite short were it not for the shop. Here, Cameron discovered helmets, swords and shields of various combinations that he could try on, and theoretically buy.

He tried them all on. Every combination. On trying a new set on he insisted on trailing over the full length of the shop to show them off to the suit of armour - 'the knight' - whose voice I provided. The knight was very impressed with Cameron's arms and armour and nervously suggested they be friends.

A trip into Leeds on my shoulders provided a carton of jelly in the BHS restaurant, which swallowed up the excess time and lowered my height by a further inch.